Body Language : Tips for Reading 'Her'

In response to the previous post, I've accumulated 7 ways to read a female's body language...So guys if you have been reading my posts, this will be your favourite for sure.

Want to know what she is really thinking and feeling? How to read her body language gestures to get it right? Understanding her body language has never been made easier although it may trigger 'The Naughty Alarm' but its for your own advantage.

1: Her chest : When indulging in foreplay, a pinkish flush will colour the skin of her chest (if its exposed of course...don't go and do somrthing stupid!), this is known as a “sex flush”. This occurs as a result of changes in her blood pressure and circulation, as well as her respiration and pulse rates. This is her subtle way of telling you that you could get lucky (as in 'getting' her) if you keep on with what you are doing. Another positive sign that you are doing it right is when her breasts start to enlarge. Women’s breasts will increase by as much as 25% when they are sexually aroused...so if you are hyper-observant, you can see this. But try not to get caught!

2: Her pupils : A woman’s pupils will dilate when she is stimulated by you. Subconsciously, her body is made to want to see more of whatever is pleasing her visually. To do this, her irises have to let in more light. At this point she is also starting to look hotter to you as well, as research has shown that guys are more attracted to girls with larger pupils. A win-win situation!

3: Her eyelashes. Look her in the eyes for a minute. She should be blinking about 15 times per minute. Research has shown that the you look in her eyes, the more likely you'll get a second or third date!

4: Her fingernails : Body-focused repetitive behaviours such as nail biting and cuticle picking are strong signs of anxiety or depression in women but not as much as men. Try not to nag her to stop; this can just make it worse. Try taking her hand, gently squeeze or massage it, and then keep holding it. You should be able to feel the tension leave her hand.

5: The Hair Flick : When a woman starts playing with her hair she is sending strong sexual body language signals that she is available. Stroking her hair is a good sign, but the best of the lot is the hair flick. This is said to be the surest signal that she is sexually attracted to you.

6: Her Neck: Stroking her neck or playing with her necklace are also very strong flirting body language signs, By doing these things she is drawing attention to her breasts. Throats and necks are lover’s only zones, and if she is also arching her neck the signal is even stronger.

7: Her Mouth: When a woman starts to think sexual thoughts, she touches her mouth. Licking her lips, sucking on the straw or spoon suggestively, and sticking things in her mouth are all indicators that she could be up for it. Eating, drinking, and smoking faster are also great body language gestures indicative of erotic thoughts.

Girls...if you are reading this, please don't think that you can control it...because you can't. Neither the boys!

Adapted and modified from The Definitive Book of Body Language.

Written by your buddy Ariff with appreciation to Allan and Barbara Pease.

©Naughty Productions

Persuade Someone In 4 Steps

Now there are five that you should know if you want to persuade someone. But first, of course you need to build your character first before you can persuade so I'll count it as step 1.

*Step 1 : Building Rapport

Mirror Their Body Language/Chameleon Effect(read previous entry if you don't get it)

• Posture/Body Movement: Wait 10 seconds, and then shift your body in the same way.
• Gestures: Use the same hand gestures they use, but only when it’s your turn to talk.
• Facial Expressions: Match their facial expressions instantly
• Shrugs: If they shrug, you should shrug instantly
• Head Nods: Instantly

*Reminder: they will not pay attention to their involuntary body movements. So don't be afraid to get caught.

Match Their Voice Tonality (again if you don't understand this...please read previous entry)

• Accents: Copy their accent(if you can) as closely as possible. You don’t want to come across as mocking them, but make an attempt as it will make a world of difference.
• Emphasize: Usually, people emphasize certain words during a conversation so be sure to catch on quickly and do the same.
• Pronunciation: Most people pronounce words in a certain way, (Tam-at-toe / Tom-a-toe)
• Breathe: During the conversation, breathe like they breathe. This will create a hypnotic synchronization. (this works...please don't doubt)

Match their Rate of Speech

• Fast: If they talk fast, then you talk fast.
• Slow: If they talk slow, then you talk slow.

Step 2 : Ask A Question

• Sometimes to make people talk, you have to make them open themselves up to you. The easiest way to do this is to ask them a question. As you ask questions, people will definitely spill their beans about their 'needs' and 'wants'. Also, many people do what’s called a 'Freudian Slip', which means to accidentally say something they had on their mind out loud. This can give you excellent personal information to work with.

Step 3 : Talk About Their Interest

• If a person doesn’t trust you, there is no way they’ll buy from you. Once you hear some trigger words, use them as leverage to continue a conversation purely about their interest. For example, like if you hear that they like dogs, get into a conversation about dogs. Yes it’s that simple!

Step 4 : Get them Excited

• Now you want to work on getting them excited. The psychology behind what you are doing here is simple. You are setting yourself up for a ‘close’ by getting them into a ‘Trusting You’ state of mind. For example, people usually don’t buy something when they don't believe in its service.

After you have done this few steps...they will not be able to resist you! I'll post a more advanced move in the future...so for now...build your relationship.

Courtesy of Ariff and Aqua Elvira( for teaching)

© Naughty Productions

FlirtingTips : Women (Advanced)

The Hair Tug / Glance and Look Down / Knee point

Chest Out / Show Skin A Bit / Tilt and Smile

Glance and Look Down : This is the “killer” flirting signal. You’ve made eye contact with that guy who's “scanning” and who you’d like to approach you. You give him a hint of a mischievous smile, an interested glance, and then look down (Not away). Gracely adjust your posture so that you’re pointing towards him. Slightly arch your back so you emphasize your chest. Don’t over do it or you’ll seem awkward and, dare we say it, desperate.

Three Strikes and Out : Quite often your first flirting signal won’t be enough. What’s going on in the guy’s head is this. “Oh my god, she’s interested. Is she? Did I just imagine that? Oh Hell, look at all her friends watching. I’m feeling good that she’s interested but do I actually want to do this? Did I just imagine this?....This thoughts are universal and it happens all the time.

So now you have to repeat your “look” so that he gets the message that he’s not in fantasy land. If he still does nothing then you can try a third attempt. By now (within two minutes) if he’s a confident male he should be coming over to you. If he isn’t then he probably isn’t good “mate” material. In short, where flirting is concerned – it’s three strikes and out. You’ll be better off investing your interest elsewhere. One final thought in defense of the guys is this: Girls tease and practice where as most guys are for real. Girls that reject a guy often go up in the estimation of their friends (they have high standards) whereas a guy that fails always goes down in the estimation of his friends (loser). Guys have learnt that even if all the signals are “right” they can still be rejected.

The approach : So now he’s coming over to you. Your flirting has worked! He’ll probably move slowly and look for reassurance from you. At any time he can turn away and bypass you if he feels that the “feel” isn’t right. Then you blew it. If you’re with friends then they’ll have noticed your “play” and if he turns away then you lose. As he walks over you need to increase your smile and open your posture to welcome him. Both you and he know that this is literally the first step. As he nears you it is critical that you allow him some personal space. That means adjusting your posture to exclude those around you and focus on him. That is if you want this contact to work. Woman often change their minds as a man approaches and you can reject him once he’s made contact or if he is obviously not “mate” material. If you’re a woman then trust your instincts as he approaches. Watch out for weird-walks, frozen smiles, glassy eyes and guys that keep looking at their buddies. So, if you’ve changed your mind then turn away from him before he arrives and with luck he’ll get the message and won’t even try. Reminder : This is the only time where the guy is in the negative position. So, if you really like this guy, stay onto him until he is close enough to talk.

The Contact : So now you’ve made contact and you’ve decided that he’s safe and you like him enough to explore this further. He’s clearly shown his interest in you by coming over but you still need to continue radiating plenty of female flirting signals or he may lose interest and start “scanning” again. If you are genuinely attracted to the guy then many of these may come naturally. However, for lots of people the act of flirting or projecting body language sex signals does not come easily. This is something of a mystery but is true. He’s going to want to see some of the following:

1. The Hair Tug




2. The Body+ Knee Point




3. The Shoe Dangle




4. The Neck Stroke




5. The Tilt and Smile

See Pics Above:-

Courtesy of Allan and Barbara Pease and your buddy Ariff.

© Naughty Productions

Body Language: Chameleon Effect

This is the technique of consciously using your body language to mirror the subconscious movements and gestures of others - in a way that is subtle and unnoticed at their conscious level. This body language can include gestures, vocal tones, breathing rate, posture, attentiveness and even facial-expressions. It is important that you do not “copy cat” their motions as this will quickly become noticeable. The trick is to use similar body language postures or gestures approximately ten seconds after they have. It is harder to do than it sounds and requires practice to appear casual and natural. Mirroring is an important secret because it occurs naturally when people are building a positive rapport and by deliberately doing it you can send an encouraging message that strengthens the developing relationship.

According to NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) experts, this technique will build trust and liking in the person with whom you are communicating. You can apparently measure the success of your mirroring if, after a while, you introduce gestures that the other person hasn’t used and then they start to subconsciously copy you. It is at this point you can express your own desires and intentions with the greatest likelihood of the other person being agreeable. Both conscious and subconscious mirroring is most often seen in romantic and business situations where the relationship that is being established is fundamental to the success of the endeavour.

(Ariff's Footnote: I decided to test this technique first to see if it really worked. I used it in several social situations and deliberately mirrored the actions of people I had just met (I did this during the first few days in A-levels class). In all cases the communication flowed easily and a positive rapport was established. In an equal number of instances I deliberately, but with subtlety, tried to use posture and gestures that were the opposite of those that our test subjects had just used. In all cases the communication was uncomfortable and in four out of five cases the person with whom I was communicating with left as soon as they could do so. I realize that our own autosuggestion may have influenced the outcome of the test but it was interesting and seemed to indicate that mirroring does have a definite effect.)

Courtesy of Ariff and Aquizam

© Naughty Productions

Body Language: Your Voice

Many of you monkeys Don't realize that your voice is one of the most important tools in body language. Your voice by itself could make the listener feel confident or bad impression of you. More people will love you if you have good speech patterns...this goes to all men and women. For example, a high squeaky voice like a mouse can indicate anxiety and does not inspire confidence(unless its natural). A low voice indicates low stress and confidence. Something you should always watch for is how people react when you are speaking to them. Are they intent on what you say or do their eyes get 'glassy' and do they yawn?

Here are some rules that you may want to use to ensure good communication with others:

• A low and slow voice commands attention and respect more than a fast squeaky voice. An evening of low and slow talk is an aphrodisiac.
• Fast speech with sloppy pronunciation implies poor education and 'low class'.
• Good pronunciation requires slightly slower speech but implies intelligence, education and 'high class'. It attracts people you will love being around.
• Self-negating statements (Like: "I can never remember things like that.") cause the listener to lose confidence in you. People don't want to be around a loser.
• A good vocabulary implies intelligence, education, and high class. Make them carry a dictionary!
• Listening is more important than actually speaking. You will learn more! Practice being a good attentive listener and people will say you are a brilliant conversationalist.

Here are some rules that especially apply when you are flirting: This goes to everyone...

• When you agree with what he/she says, give a little head nod and a verbal 'uh huh'. He/she will sense your interest and really appreciate that.
• Watch the speaker's head movements. When speakers expect you to reply, they will unconsciously move their head slightly to indicate that it is your turn to speak. Also there will be a rise in the speaker's voice pitch. A similar rise also comes at the end of questions. You will show respect, and be appreciated, when you watch for a head movement and slight rise in pitch before you respond. Don't start talking before you get the signal he or she is done speaking!
• When you speak, let your voice roll out under control, confident and relaxed. This attracts people who will admire you.
• When replying to another speaker, respond with a positive and supportive statement to what they just said. "Yes, I like bananas, too!" This attracts people who will appreciate and admire you.
• Validate them and their ideas - even if you don't agree. If you strongly disagree, move on to another subject. You can't change them and no need to lose a friend here.
• When another speaker drops his or her voice at the end of a statement they are pretty well satisfied with what they said and ready to let it go. Don't you keep harping on that subject.
• If a speaker holds their voice constant pitch at the end of a statement (eyes and hands stay as they are) they have more to say on that subject. Stand by, listen, and wait for more! Don't jump in on top of their words with your own comments until they are done speaking.
• When you do speak, talk slowly and confidently. This will give you a little more time to form better responses and to say each word more precisely. This will improve your image as an educated, intelligent, and confident person. (You really are a masterwork in progress.)

Now This Is For The Guys...Sorry Gals But Its True....:

A deep voice indicates high testosterone level. To 'score' with a chick, try to be relaxed and deepen your voice so your testosterone level is evident to the females. Once you got this right, the female's DNA programming will without doubt...unconsciously make her more attracted to you. Take this as a good 'turn on'.

Trust me I use it all the time to guys and gals...this does not mean I'm gay!..its to guys its good for dominance and to ladies..its a matter of closing in the gap between them.

Hints for everyone:

• Keep your statements short. Give the other person a chance to reply and you won't be a bore.
• Minimize 'I' and 'you'. Use 'we', 'our', and 'us' abundantly in your discussions. Form a team right away.
• Use plenty of facial expressions and hand gestures. Show that you are 'alive'. Let your 'kid' come out and have fun with the discussion.
• Don't use a lot of these 'fillers' in your statements such as, "You know?" or "You know what I mean?". They don't know what you mean until you say it clearly!
• Speak loud enough to be heard, especially in noisy environments and to older people. (It is OK to flirt with older people. Charity work is good karma.)
• You may use laughter as punctuation to your statements but use it by itself and not when you are still saying the words. That is, don't mix the two so that the words are lost. Every word is a jewel so don't hide or lose any.
• Do let your sense of humor shine and make it fun for people to be with you. Life is short so make it fun for them and yourself.

Courtesy of Ariff