Counselling Skills That You Should Have!

A counselllor's job is to help their clients/friends/family to help themselves. To counsel someone...we need them to open up to us right? To make them feel safe enough to be open about their thoughts and feelings...they must be in an environment(which you should create!) where they feel safe, respected and understood. These are the list of skills you should have:



The Counsellor must_____ so that the patient can_____!

1. Listen ; develop his/her thinking
2. Not judge ; feel safe and respected
3. Pay attention ; know you care
4. Accept their feelings ; know that they are not being judged
5. Understand the client(put yourself in their shoes) ; know that you are with them no matter what
6. Think about the client ; get the best assistance you can give

The Counsellor may_____ so the patient can_____!

1. Ask questions ; develop their thinking deeper
2. Summarize ; hear their own thoughts and feelings being understood
   
3. Ask the patient to change their behaviour ; release blocked emotions or whatever...

Counsellors should not_____ this will make the patient_____!

1. Argue ; be in the defense mode
   
2. Talk about their own problems ; think that they are wasting their time
   
3. Should not solve the problems for them (unless necessary!) ; overly dependant
4. Give advice ; dependant or hostility (depends on how they interpret the advice)
   
5. Belittle the patients' concern ; withdrawal for the shy and possible attack by the aggresive
   
6. Avoid painful areas (blast them away...hahaha) ; be frustrated because their stressor is not being talked about

©Naughty Productions 2010

Identifying Yourself...

How to understand myself or yourself? Those not always easy questions to answer. So today I’d like to share 2 tips that have helped me to get to know myself a bit better and to see my life more accurately.

1. What do you see in people.

What we see in others is quite often what we see in ourselves. And what irritates us in people may be what we don’t like in ourselves. What you judge in someone you are actually judging in yourself. Like for example my subject 042 Michelle, an ex-classmate of mine wears a watch of white colour...therefore I assumed that her favourite colour is white. Because I like red and I'm wearing a red watch...therefore I suppose its the same...which it is!!

Therefore what you notice and what irritates you in others can teach you important things about yourself. Things you may not be aware of. In a way people can be like a mirror for you. A mirror that can help you to learn more about yourself, what you fear and how you may be fooling yourself.

So, what people generally irritate you? What do you often judge or criticize people for?

What can that tell you about you?

2. Be Weird~


Being weird doesn't mean being like a pleb!...got it? good XD.

When faced with a choice in your daily life, step back for a minute and think. Then take the option that is and feels unusual for you. Remember to never never never panic...there's always a plan B is you think without panicking!

If you often back down just don’t for this one time. If you often get into arguments with people then just this one time don’t and instead just let it go or treat the other person with kindness. Do the opposite of what you usually do and see what happens (while using common sense of course). Do something new and something you wouldn’t expect from yourself.

This is a fun and great way to get new experiences and to learn things about the world and about yourself that you wouldn’t if you kept going like you usually do. It’s also a great way to be surprised about life as things often turn out more positively than in your fear filled daydreams if you just take action.

Getting stuck in the same old routine until it becomes a rut can suck the life out of you. Doing the unusual thing in small and big situations, no matter how it goes, is a great way to feel alive again and to reveal aspects of yourself that may have been hidden from you.

Trust me...even people think I'm weird but I'm not gonna lie to ya...I LOVE IT...think of Weird as Unique! try it :p


©Naughty Productions 2010

Profiling...Nah...Boooriiiing~

This Pic Is For Disturbing Purpose Only...No Offense~ :p

Profiling in my opinion would be almost the same technique as cold reading...So why should we bother ourselves to figure out another person...its a waste of time right?? If this is what you think...then its crap!...take it out of your minds immediately :p So by profiling the people around you...especially around your friends or colleagues or whatever...you will be able to :-

1. You will generally have less conflicts...This will happen because you will start to understand better THEIR view of the world. (People don't see how you perceive the world ya know)
2. By being able to tell who is the person sitting at the other end of the table, you will automatically become a very powerful communicator. It's like you are being an information counter...this is where Knowledge Becomes Power!
   
3. At some point you will start to develop a certain empathy that stops the human instinct of avoiding anyone that doesn't look or behave exactly like me and you. (In other words if you are able to "read/profile" someone...you can blend in easily with anyone, anywhere)
   
4. The most important thing: By profiling someone...You will be able to manipulate people much better than before. (Seriously try it!)

©Naughty Productions 2010

Are Manipulators Evil? Pt.1-Conscious

There's two type of manipulation (the ones I can think of anyway~), conscious or unconscious, is not evil. Conscious manipulation is a choice! Unconscious manipulation is a habit rooted in fear.


Conscious Manipulation

Some people consciously choose to manipulate others in order to get what they want. Commercials for example manipulate us. “You will be such a cool guy and all chicks will dig you if you wear those pants”, etc. They call it “to create a need”. And then we gladly buy the product that will fulfill the need we wouldn’t have had if they hadn’t "brainwashed" us in the first place.

*Actually I find observing commercials fascinating...especially when someone is dumb enough to think that everything they say is 100% true...in my opinion I'd say they're mentally screwed! XD*

Many other people also use manipulation in a deliberate and conscious way to reach their goals...I normally use it to obtain information about the people in my surroundings...in a way its kinda fun....hahahaha naughty me~

These are choices I would not make(unless necessary~)--->using sneaky tactics to play on someone’s weaknesses in order to control their feelings and behavior with professional tricks.

That being said, in my opinion manipulation isn’t evil. All choices we made are valid to our own perspective or context. The word “evil” doesn’t make any sense in my world of manipulation. The good and evil, is only a choice made by the manipulator...

End of Part 1........................

Psychological Manipulation : Requirements

Psychological manipulation or Mental Breach (my way of calling it) has 3 known proviso stated by psychologist Simon et al :

1. A manipulator must conceal their aggressive intentions and behaviours.
2. A manipulator must be an expert in knowing the psychological vulnerability of their marks in order to determine the best tactics to be most effective against their "Victims".
3. Manipulators must have a sufficient level of ruthlessness to have no qualms about causing harm to the victim "if necessary".
   

A manipulator (the good ones anyway~) in my own words, is the perfect predator of mankind-they will use your "weaknesses" to their own advantage with ruthless precision!


*P.S From no.3---> Try not be a cold hearted moron!...because if you are, then go and see a psychiatrist because YOU ARE A PSYCHOPATH!



©Naughty Productions 2010

What Is Reverse Psychology

Reverse Psychology

Is the act of motivating someone to do something by telling him to do the exact opposite of it according to Wiki...For example you tell your friend “I bet you can’t arrive before 6”... this might motivate him to do the opposite to prove you wrong since most of us just loooove to prove that the other person's wrong...wouldn't you agree :)

Reverse psychology normally preys on a person's ego, as when it is used, it can make the 'subject' feel incompetent. Thus, effectively persuading the person to perform the desired action. "Feed the ego" with the negative of what you actually want...like the above statement!

So...in order for reverse psychology to be perfectly executed...you must make that person think that you believe in what you are saying and that you are not just saying it to motivate him/her.

Now...if you've watched cartoon in your life (not that I'm saying you never did!)...you may see that its full of reverse psychology. For example :

• A large, red button with the sign "Do Not Push"...and then they'll push it or,

• "Do not jump in!" or "You will die!"...although jumping in is the only way to win...lol
  

or from The Simpsons:

Homer's Brain: Don't you get it? You've gotta use reverse psychology.

Homer: That sounds too complicated.

Homer's Brain: OK, don't use reverse psychology.

Homer: All right, I will!

©Naughty Productions 2010

The Power of Deduction : Analysis

Think of a jigsaw puzzle. When you have all the pieces, and they are all the right way up, you can then start to analyse where they go and how they fit together. The more pieces you have the easier it will be to infer what the big picture will be. So the more angles you have observed a problem from, and the more facts you have gathered about it, the more likely you are to be able to see the final solution. Tp put it into human perspective, the more details you can find on/about someone, the more you will know about the person!!

You take the pieces of info about that person and you begin to think about how they fit together, how they relate to one another, how one links to the other and what affect that has on the overall picture. The most important thing you need to know is that everything is connected!

“Each fact is suggestive in itself. Together they have a cumulative force.” - From someone but I've forgotten who hihi...

Example:-

Situation
Perhaps you run a ladies department store and through market research you learn that women who visited your store have a poor impression of the store... You can’t understand it, as you are pleased with your customer service. So seeking to improve your store’s image profile and build business, you observe everything and everyone in your store trying to find the flaw so you could fix it. So, you gather all the facts. Then you analyse it.

The Problem (continue from above)
You realise that beggars and hawkers are targeting people outside the store. What’s more, the street at the side of your building is strewn with rubbish. Prashant the doorman, who you always thought was polite, turns out to be Mr Horny and regularly hits on or makes suggestive,unwelcome comments to female customers.

The Solution
So these pieces of the jigsaw a.k.a the problems above are affecting the overall picture. And the solution is to change and eliminate the pieces from the picture. Time to take out the trash I would say...hahaha

You have the street cleaned up, and find a better way of getting trash collected from the rear of the building. The beggars and hawkers are moved on by your security personnel. Prashant the bugger is fired. The ladies start to love your store again.

©Naughty Productions 2010

The Power of Deduction : Observation Pt 2

While we strive to be as objective as possible, the way a thing appears is always affected by the position from which we view it (experience can be very useful at this point). To alleviate this flaw, we must try and observe situations and problems from as many different angles as possible. So, if you have a theory about a situation, I suggest you make a few more theories and then...choose the best one...follow your intuition because its usually correct!

True observation can only occur through a certain amount of self-annihilation! In other words, “you” have to shut up! You need to get yourself completely out of the way so that you can perceive clearly. So get quiet. Get still. Look and see what is there. Then move. Take up another position. Look again and again. Remember...there's always something to observe! I would say that I'm a careful person, I double check everything that I theorize about someone twice before I make my conclusion. As you progress, all this processes will take no more than 30 to 60 seconds!

By observing, "YOU" are learning! When you see with fresh eyes, unclouded by what you think you know, your powers of observation become like that of a wild animal. You are far more alert. Your vision is sharper. There is no interference. The “walk-around” trance of listening to the incessant prattle (endless babbling) of your mind is at once burst like a bubble. Think of it like as if your subconcious mind is trying to communicate with you. If you are able to "talk" to your mind you will be very much stronger...try it!

End of Observation...Have Fun!!

©Naughty Productions 2010

The Power of Deduction : Observation Pt 1

"Holmes, you see everything." Watson said.
"I see no more than you, but I have trained myself to notice what I see." Sherlock Holmes


Observation





Whenever you are faced with any new situation or problem, you must first observe it. Observation requires patience of course as well as detachment. Think of one of those beautiful, intense glares from Sherlock Holmes as he pans a room taking in every detail (especially the tiniest little detail). If you are emotionally involved your observation you will be clouded by your emotional being.




You must become as detached as possible. Just allow what is there to present itself to you. Open up your senses. Really listen, let the sounds impact upon you. Notice the smells. And look with the eyes of a hawk. Sharp. Precise. Missing nothing. Be alert to every movement, every clue, anything that is out of the ordinary.



"...go everywhere, see everything, overhear everyone.".

If you are emotionally reacting to a problem, you have already prejudged the problem. You have narrowed your mind by defining the problem as “bad”. Pretend you know nothing at this point. You do not know whether the problem is good or bad. For every problem carries its own story and and awaits its observer to interpret it. Simply observe…simple! For example if you are trying to understand someone...whether you knew them or not, I suggest you do not judge them base on facial value as it will definitely make you bias towards them.



"It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts." - Sherlock Holmes

End of part 1 :p

©Naughty Productions 2010